This made me laugh

After life

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death.
Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact:
" Marion .... Marion "
"Is that you, Bob?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course.
I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.
Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to the golf course again.
Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"
"Oh, Bob! Are you in Heaven?"




"No --- I'm a rabbit in Kent'.

 

I went to the sperm clinic earlier today and the receptionist ask if I'd like to masturbate in the cup.
I said I'm good but I'm not sure I want to compete in a tournament just yet.

 

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https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=282112572444351

 

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Whoops. The words wrath, scorned and woman come to mind......

 

@MrOrange a new training regime?

 

Hunting with a bow is illegal in the UK, no mention of fishing !!!

 

Another good tactic for the met police chasing scooter pondlife

 

View attachment 44381

 

2 tampons are walking past each other, which one says "hi", first.

Neither, they're both stuck up cnnts.

 

I was bored at work today, so did a Dilli (as in made stuff for myself, this will soon be recognised by urban dictionaries around the world), and made myself something useless, but it makes me laugh.

Shall be using this every time someone comes and asks me to do another pointless task.

 

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