This made me laugh

I was taking a piss in the garden today when my wife shouted:
"Andy, fucking stop that right now! We have guests trying to eat their lunch out here."
"Oh get off it love" I said "I was bursting and the toilet was engaged, what do you expect me to do?"
"Face the other way!" she screamed

 

Kid asks his Dad, "why was my sister christened Teresa?"
"it is an anagram of Easter, your mum loves Easter eggs"
"OK, thanks for explaining that Dad"
"No problem, Alan"

 

Well it's Valentine's Day so I booked a table, she furious, just coz I am better at snooker than her

 

That really caught my sense of humour!!