People With Funny Names

When I was at school there was a lad who was kind of cross eyed. But in a different way. When one eye was looking straight and level, the other eye was looking slightly upwards. We called him Isiah. There was another lad who was really tiny, he was called Willy Evergrow.

 

A male work colleague got called Mavis after the Cornation Street character because he was an old sweetie wife

 

Knew a lad in the RAF nicknamed Pramhead
When I asked about his name I was told that if you look in a pram it’s full of shit and broken biscuits

 

Living in Wales there' Billy the milk ( milkman) and Wynne Shit ( empties septic tanks). My best mate was Chimp - looked like a monkey and could he climb trees.

 

Another lad I worked with in the RAF had the nickname Splat!
Now get this....apparently when he was in training in Wales somebody found him masturbating in the toilets just as he got to the vinegar strokes
Not in a cubicle but into a urinal FFS
W@nk Splat was the full nickname but got shortened to Splat
He really wasn’t bothered by it at all and just laughed it off

 

An old pal of mine was known as black ken cos he never washed after work before calling for a pint and also as ‘Teflon’ due to his dodgy welding skills.
There was another lad in Ponteland knicknamed ‘Some Soldiers’ as that was what his mother said when he asked who his father was

 

Two examples from my past....

Pow! A bloke who was always in a tiz and constantly busy being ineffective (Pressure Of Work......!)

Thrush - because he was an irritating.....

 

Solicitors in Rushden - "Fairley and Co" nothing special there you might think, but one of the partners was Mr Crook - Mr Nick Crook !!!!!!

 

Some mothers won't have anymore

 

Too many to mention really, at boarding school no one was called by their proper name, everyone had a nickname. A couple come to mind at the moment (it was a long time ago!) Friends name was Robert White known throughout his schooling career as 'Chalky'. Another, Jon Mortimer known as 'Monty'. Mark Samways, 'Sambo',

 

So you must have been wally then

 

Funnily enough I was ONCE! He never called me that again. 'Whippet' was my nick name due the fact I was the fastest runner in the year. Then changed to just Kenny. Another friend called Lawrence Sharpe, sometimes he was called Truck, other times Blunt

 

I knew a guy who was of scouse origin and vertical challenged we used to call him Dicky Mint after one of Ken Dodds diddy men.

 

I can recall a few, some of which wouldnt be used these days. Coming from a not very ethnically diverse area, one of my friends at school was half Chinese (the only non-white member of our year), imaginatively called "Chink", i reminded my sister she used to call him this last weekend, her now being a 30 year veteran of ultra pc local government employment.
I also remember myself and a few friends bumping into an old school friend in the pub at around the age of 25, he of the large teeth, "hey Bugsy!".... "its Keith actually".. *walks off*, went the exchange.
Then there are the ones you meet that you know the nickname but were never party to the origins.. I give you..

Zephyr
Puffer
Topper

 

Years ogo I was best man for my mate Jim. As certain people on here will know I’m the shy retiring type that never says boo to a ghost. The butter wouldn’t melt in my mouth type person
Anyway ceremonies over and at the top top table , speech done ( thanks to the aid of a drinkypoo or two to calm my nerves )
Jim’s mother turns to me and says “ dont Bernard and Serena look lovely together?”
Without thinking I utter the immortal words “ who the feck is Bernard?” To her.
Think I hid under the table the rest of the evening once I realised what I had said ...........