The pessimist deems the glass half empty. The optimist half filled. And the German engineer states: It is too large for its content...
Mick goes into The Dublin Council and applies for a job. The interviewer asks him "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies, "Yes caffeine. I cant drink coffee." "OK, have you ever been in the Irish army? "Yes, I was in the lebanon for 3 years." The interviewer says, "That will give you an extra 5 points towards employment." Then he asks "Are you disabled in any way?". Mick says, Yes a bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles." The interviewer says "Disabled in the line of duty for your Country! Well that qualifies you for bonus points. Okay. You have enough points, I can hire you right now. Our normal working hours are from 8.00 am to 4.00 pm. You can start tomorrow at 10.00am and plan on starting at 10.00 am every day. Mick is a bit confused and asks, "if the work hours are from 8am to 4pm, why dont you want me here till 10.00am?" The interviewer says, "This is the Council, for the first 2 hours we stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."
